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Funny 69 Position

A girl brings a guy home one night. They get into her apartment and immediately she suggests that they do "69". "What the hell is that?" asks the guy. Realizing he's inexperienced, she tries to explain,"I put my head between your legs and you put your head between mine." Still not knowing what she's talking about, but not wanting to ruin the moment he agrees to try it. The second they get in to the position, she lets go a rip-roaring fart. "What was that for?" he asks. "Oops! Sorry, lets try it again." she says. So, they get into position again, and once more she lets one loose. The guy gets up and starts to put his coat on. "Wait, where are you going?" she asks. The guy says, " If you think I'm sticking around for 67 more of those, you're crazy!

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Long, Russian joke I know which I translated to the best I could. Not really pc. Sry D: A Russian, a German and a Jew stand on the roof of a burning skyscraper. The floors beneath them are engulfed in flames. No where to run. The 3 man, in sheer panic, have nowhere to escape to. So the Russian goes to ledge and thinks for himself: "I don't want to die. Not in such a gruesome way like burning alive. I rather jump from the building an take my chances." But he still fears death so he stops at the ledge and doesn't know which to pick. Suddenly an angel appears before him and says: "Russian, listen to me: Believe in the lord, send him your prayers and he will safe you. The lord is your Shepard. Just believe in him and jump!" The Russian, full of doubt but with no other way out, decides to believe in this strange occurrence, goes for the ledge and with a last prayer on his lips, jumps off the building. He falls to the ground with a gut wrenching sound BUT survi...