My mate set me up on a blind date.

He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know... She's expecting a baby."

I felt like a right idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy!

submitted by /u/Brucemoose1
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[Dark Humor] [Long] [NSFW] A joke, from Russia with love ;) Sry if anyone is offended. Not my intention.

Long, Russian joke I know which I translated to the best I could. Not really pc. Sry D: A Russian, a German and a Jew stand on the roof of a burning skyscraper. The floors beneath them are engulfed in flames. No where to run. The 3 man, in sheer panic, have nowhere to escape to. So the Russian goes to ledge and thinks for himself: "I don't want to die. Not in such a gruesome way like burning alive. I rather jump from the building an take my chances." But he still fears death so he stops at the ledge and doesn't know which to pick. Suddenly an angel appears before him and says: "Russian, listen to me: Believe in the lord, send him your prayers and he will safe you. The lord is your Shepard. Just believe in him and jump!" The Russian, full of doubt but with no other way out, decides to believe in this strange occurrence, goes for the ledge and with a last prayer on his lips, jumps off the building. He falls to the ground with a gut wrenching sound BUT survi...

Just For Laugh!

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